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I couldn'tgo right to sleep though. I just stared at the ceiling for hours.* - * - *A month went by and nothing more was said about Izzy. I didn't want toforce the issue but Mom did see Liz and Izzy return from a shopping tripone day. I didn't say anything to her, I just went to my room and put mythings away. I did change into my drabs before leaving my room. As Isaid, I didn't want to rub their noses in it, but I didn't want them tothink it was going away either.A week later Mom called me into the kitchen and told me she had made anappointment with a doctor to talk about Izzy. The doctor was apsychiatrist who dealt with gender issues. I was thrilled until she toldme that Dad didn't want any part in it. That saddened me some but atleast Mom was willing to continue.The doctor spoke to me for a long time. She had long meetings with Momand Liz as well. When we finally all got into the room together sheanswered some of the questions."Brian would not be aware of the fact that he was. " She said as she stroked my head gently. "I want you to know, baby, that I'm not going to let anything too bad happen to you. I'm gonna keep you safe but you need to do what I tell you. But I promise you'll enjoy it in the end. I'll show you love and respect for submitting to me. Okay, sweetie? I know you need me to be mean and I will be, but you know I still care about you, right?" Yes Miss Crystal." I was in heaven. I felt so special to be allowed to serve this cruel but still generous black goddess."Look me in the eyes." I looked up and she started laughing. "Oh my god you're so stupid! You believed me, I can tell. No, you god damn freak I don't give a shit about you. I'm gonna do stuff to you that will permanently injure you. I'm gonna burn you and cut you and put your ass on the street where people can pay to fuck you. You think someone who cared about you would do that shit? You're nothing. You're a fucking dog you fat white motherfucker."She held my gaze and.
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